WARNING AT BOTTOM OF PAGE

This is a mental health/mental illness blog dealing with daily life with words that are real and raw, video, pics, and music chosen by one fucked-up kitty. I am diagnosed Bipolar, with (crippling) Anxiety Disorder, and seriously horrific PTSD.
Sometimes it's a real treat of Freedom of Speech and Crazy to let it out, and scream something out in public when you just lose it, and let the stress out of your sails in one quick go, unlike the "unlucky" majority. Nope. Can't say everything is bad 100% of the time. Now take your meds and get ready...



This blog is permanently under construction/destruction.

Friday, February 14, 2014

She Goes By Moonlight



I was determined to get up and out at 5am to grab my free reward coffee this morning. I didn't need an alarm. I woke up so many damn times I can't even count. After throwing on a little workout outfit and my tennies, I slipped outside alone, by moonlight in a light drizzle of rain. There were 3 people sleeping on porches of buildings along the way. It was good to see that they were at least sheltered from the rain.

The moon was gorgeous, and it just covered with clouds before I could get a pic of it.

Starbucks was like a 5am sausage lonely hearts club party. Almost all of the patrons, who were all men, stared at me. They had the look of abandoned puppies in their eyes. I was the only female in the place. After I grabbed my stuff and left, I saw the moon again and realized that it was as if I was on auto-pilot most of the time, and how easy it had been for me to get outside alone - in the dark and drizzling rain.

I practically bounced along on the sidewalk all the way home to mindless, happy music. My anxiety level had been close to nil, and on no meds. Insane!

Just inside the doors, on top of the mailboxes, was a bunch of gorgeous rejected red roses, in perfect shape, pushed into the corner. 

A good start to what is usually a trying day. I wish the sun wouldn't come up.