WARNING AT BOTTOM OF PAGE

This is a mental health/mental illness blog dealing with daily life with words that are real and raw, video, pics, and music chosen by one fucked-up kitty. I am diagnosed Bipolar, with (crippling) Anxiety Disorder, and seriously horrific PTSD.
Sometimes it's a real treat of Freedom of Speech and Crazy to let it out, and scream something out in public when you just lose it, and let the stress out of your sails in one quick go, unlike the "unlucky" majority. Nope. Can't say everything is bad 100% of the time. Now take your meds and get ready...



This blog is permanently under construction/destruction.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Kill 'em With Kindness

Yes... I do like this pic. Fractal art speaks to the crazy in me that seeks patterns without looking.

So what do I do this morning after bad behavior and bad communication/lack thereof last night? Get up noticing I must have fallen back to sleep after my 5am alarm! I jumped up, peeked around in my underwear and there was no one around. I couldn't even smell coffee. I figured my husband just left and went to grab coffee somewhere else. 

I threw on my usual black "workout" clothes and hoodie, and the husband came in from outside. Surprise! And he made enough coffee for both of us, even though he shut the door after he got up so that I might sleep in (for once). I got my coffee and meds, and was the first to say "good morning". Someone had to do it. He made his little efforts in his own strange ways. 

I decided today would be "Kill 'em with kindness"/fuck it...What are bad vibes going to do for me all day? Nada! So we were civilized and he even kissed me goodbye, though he was obviously nervous. I told him to have a good day and meant it. I just wish he could hear his own words and see his own behavior for once.

After that, I sucked down my coffee, and grabbed an empty starschmucks bag, keys, cigarette, and sunglasses, ipod... and ventured out the door, the hall, and the front door. It was a mild morning. I lit up, tuned in, and tried to walk slowly so I wouldn't be seen hanging around outside the shop. Didn't work, so I stood to the side. No one was out.

I mentally "thanked" ("fuck you"'d) the guy just before me who could have held the door; the timing was just right but when he looked down at my tattoos or whatever, he let the door go. No matter. I went in and stood right behind his ancient ass in line. 

Something weird was going on there. It looked like the manager/sup/whatever was re-training everybody by hand that worked there, even the most experienced, and he was standing at the register. The one asshole that treated me like a criminal over a 50-cent cup of coffee, that I had complained to starschmucks about online. 

He put on a fake mask with smile, and couldn't or wouldn't even look me in the eye, as I did him. His voice went higher and stranger than it did when he spoke to/at me last. I wanted to laugh. It looks like my complaints at least forced a mandatory re-training of everybody! Useless to me, but I'm sure it pissed them all off. They can thank their manager/sup/whatever for that.

It also looks like my online complaint ended up in a health inspection of the place too. I received email about it. There is now hot water in the bathrooms to wash your hands with, as there should have been in the first place, disgusting fucks!

Big happy smirk on my face now for that shit treatment... They suffer now and everybody else gets hot water! Even the homeless that come in there to wash, whether those fuckwads like it or not! Suck on that! They do NOT like the homeless. Fuck 'em. I'll still keep an eye out for their treatment of people, too. They need to learn to behave right. THEY are being watched!