Yet Another Reason I Don't Call Myself A Feminist

I came across this article the other day and it made me feel kind of sick. They never posted my comment because I didn't agree that it was "brilliant", I guess: 


FRIDAY, JUN 13, 2014 09:46 AM PDT 
Don’t want to give that guy your phone number? Let him talk to bell hooks instead!
A new app lets the feminist icon drop some wisdom to dudes who don't know how to take "no" for an answer
Katie McDonough

"I love it when brilliant and tech savvy feminists do something brilliant and tech savvy.

This "feminist phone intervention" is kind of perfect. If you're at a bar, in the supermarket, walking down the street or anywhere, really (street harassment and unwanted sexual advances are not location specific) and someone asks for your number and won't take no for an answer, you can now give that person icon bell hooks' number. Well, not exactly bell hooks' number but a generic number that will serve up an automated quote from the writer and activist through text or voicemail...

The makers of the hotline explain their inspiration like this:

protect your privacy while dropping some feminist knowledge when your unwanted "suitor" calls or texts.

because we're raised to know it's safer to give a fake phone number than to directly reject an aggressive guy.

because women are still threatened and punished for rejecting advances.

because (669) UGH-ASIF, WTF-DUDE, and MAJR-SHADE were taken.

because why give any old fake number, when you can gave bell hooks screen your calls?

so next time, just give out this number: (669) 221-6251 tech to protect."

This is what they'll get:

“If any female feels she need anything beyond herself to legitimate and validate her existence, she is already giving away her power to be self-defining, her agency.”


Reality is, if you give a guy a number, he can check it right then and there, and find out it's fake, that you lied to him, and get more than twice as pissed off at you for lying to his face. That may have made things much worse. Why not just say no. If that doesn't work, say it in the meanest, nastiest, equally threatening way you have to, if you need to, or call 911, or have the common sense to get the fuck out of there! 

What is it about lying about a stupid phone number that makes this particular fake-phone- number-giving-thingie the "feminist" thing to do? Protecting your privacy "while dropping some feminist knowledge" when your unwanted "suitor" calls or texts."? Do they honestly think they're going to listen to more than 2 seconds to realize it's not your number? Do you really think they're going to listen to this "feminist knowledge" you "dropped" on them? Do you really think it's a good idea when you're "in a bar or supermarket"? You're still there. Smart. Real smart. Brilliant. 

I wonder if this woman ever really walked the streets at night alone, walked in "no-go" areas alone? Walked anywhere alone? Dealt with physical abuse? I seriously doubt it.

I think this shitty article really rubbed me wrong because it involved a person talking about "feminism" and lying. I'm not really fond of the article because it involves lying, something that has become one of my most hated things in the world:  being told a lie, or having to even think of attempting to lie. I don't feel the need to lie. I find it horribly insulting to be lied to. Pretty fucking low, as in way down there low. Life or death situation is going to change things, if it has to. If lying is accepted and promoted as "feminism", I take no part in it. It gives people another reason to dislike or hate women (or men) that refer to themselves as "feminists". No more fuel needed for that fire!

I'm not sticking up for dicks who won't take "no" for an answer. In the end, you just have to be aware of your surroundings and people, and not completely tune out with your phones or whatever. Be prepared to stand up for yourself, and make an escape plan that you can live with. If you lie, better you than me.

Sad thing is that there's just too much hatred between people. I don't want to live like that. I don't want to be kept inside because of fear or anxiety, and it's not fear that keeps me inside. I'm still dealing with the agoraphobia, unfortunately. It's sad that people in general no longer use their manners, and that irritates me more when I'm already anxious and irritable out in public. Another thing that can set off some uglyass public angerfest. Embarrassing.

Love

It's all in my head. It's all in my head. It's all in my head.